Monday, July 23, 2018

Dealing With the World.

There are days when the world gets to me. On days like these I want to be obliterated, not see anyone and just retire from it all, one way or another.

At these times, although I wouldn't take my life, I would not move if a bus came hurtling towards me, its brakes not working. The last thtought that would go through my mind would likely be 'oh well'.

I'm in one of those ruts now. It's a period when gtting out of bed just to see the planet is hard. When a breeze in my face, or the smell of flowers does nothing for my senses.

Instead, my mind is filled with the horrors, all man made, that surround me. I watch people who have no conception of the pain other people live with, carry on as if the worst problems involve not being able to go on two holidays a year.

I pass houses that are immaculate and others that are run down and wonder what heartache lives behind them. Do some of the people who live amongst such comparative wealth have a soul, a life of meaning?

Then I think of those on the streets of the UK, sometimes I pass by their sleeping forms in underpasses, and I know that one day it could be me there.

And this is scratching the surface of the world's pains. The people working long hours for low pay in bad conditions across Asia so we can have phones, PCs, and cheap clothing. Human beings caught in man-made wars fuelled by political needs rather than human needs.

The more I look around, the more I ralise that very few people in the world aren't suffering, and all the suffering is caused by us. Our greed, our ego, our cruelty.

We have been made dumb to it all, and it hurts. Then I find myself asking what the point of this life is.

Without a faith, there is no point to this life of misery, with a fatih you end up asking why it stays this way.

Humans have been trying to build a decent society for millenia and have always failed. Why? What is it that we do wrong? Are we weak, gullible, nasty?

When this realisation hits, as it does often, my depression spirals downward. Like now.

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