Monday, April 02, 2018

Depression Diary - Looking Over Your Shoulder

As we left work for the Easter Holiday on Thrusday I took my apprentice to one side and asked how things were going. He felt okay, but also talked about how far he has to go. I reminded him that sometimes you have to look behind you, not to point out errors, but to see how far you've come and what you have learned. There will always be things to learn, improvements to be made. Take the time to see and appreciate what you've done so far.

It made him smile and reinforced something that I've learned with my depression: looking back is not always a bad thing. If I look at the errors and mistakes I've made then it will bring me down. If, on the other hand, I focus on the progress I've made then I smile.

Looking at the past doesn't have to be a negative thing, whereas constantly looking at the obstacles in your way can be.

The past cannot be changed, but it can teach us. What it is teaching me at the moment is that I've made a lot of progress. I may never be fully content and I may be on the pills for the rest of my life, but I'm not the person I was nine years ago. I'm not as broken, not as unhappy nor as likely to be triggered by attitudes or memories.

The future has many problems that I'll have to face, but I'm proud of the distance I've covered. Having travelled that far has helped me train people at work and give encouragement to those that need it. Like my apprentice.

Look over your shoulder and see how far you've come.

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