Monday, January 29, 2018

Depression Diary - It's Monday

Mondays signal an end to the weekend, and when it's raining it's even worse. When you have to be at work for 6am that takes it down another notch.

Different things depress different depressives. For me, grey skies are among the worst things I could see.

Intermittent showers with the sun poking through I can (sort of) cope with. But grey, rainy skies depress me while grey skies with no rain depress me even more.

Yet, even as I examine the nature of these events, I realise that it isn't the thing itself that's the problem, it's the lack of someone warm to be with while they happen.

I've been with the cold people, shared my life with them. They are the greyness in my past and I will not let anyone else in who tries emulate that.

In the meatnime I have to live with the grey outside, the dankness that keeps the light from shining in.

Roll on Spring and Summer.

Friday, January 26, 2018

Friday Fun

My third workless weekend. [takes a deep breath and enjoys it]

Let's get this weekend rolling.

And with that piece of philosophical musing, I bid you adieu.

Monday, January 22, 2018

Depression Diary - Making Yourself Happy

Can you make yourself happy? Sort of.

Humans are, by nature, social creatures who depend to one degree or another on other people to survive. People who are isolated, with very few exceptions, are lonely and have shorter lifespans.

While it is true that happiness can come from inside and that we are the makers of our happiness, what is not true is that this is all we need. We can make space in our lives, do things that please us, but at the end, without someone to share it with, unless that person is totally selfish, we lose the will to be happy.

When surrounded by people who drain our happiness, be it a social group, a parent, a spouse, or someone else, we cannot keep our internal happiness alive.

We need others to be around so we can share it.

Depression takes away our internal happiness, and when we are surrounded by uncaring people we find it difficult to rebuild that joy.

To do so requires us to remove from our lives people and things that kill or lessen our own internal happiness, however long they have been around us. An effort which requires some other kind of support, both internal and external.

The external support could be a job you like, working with people who respect you, a good friend, or a supportive spouse.

We are not designed to be alone and happiness cannot come just from within, it also has to come from without.