Wednesday, December 09, 2015

Remembering 2015 - Health

2015 began with gallstones, a non-fat diet and misery. It's ending with no gallbladder, pizza and relative happiness.

Nearly two years ago I had my first serious bout of pain which had me hospitalised...in Manchester. I had to go there for work and had a horrid journey which was stressful. In the middle of last year it was diagnosed as gallstones and in February I had my gallbladder removed.

When I get called overweight, I show people my scars and tell them I'm pregnant and that the scars are proof of the operation to insert the fertilised egg. Either that or there's a zip inside my body which the fairies who live inside me use to get out at night so they can go and take children's teeth. I look as if I've put on weight because of the wide screen TV they bought...which also explains the rumbling from my stomach: they love Star Wars. Thankfully I can now eat pizza and curry. I still get the occasional twinge of pain from the op, but nothing much.

Mentally, I'm still in pain. I still need the anti-depressants, but I've noticed a stronger backbone in my behaviour.

I've been bullied and manipulated most of my life, especially by the two women I loved. Recently I've fought back against this manipulation instead of avoiding the people who try. I stood my ground when one person tried to get me to join them on bonfire night, when all I wanted to do was have a quiet night in. I stayed in. I've also refused to give up my charity shop work because this person thinks I get tired.

On top of that, my manager at work is a strong person, the kind I normally lose my brain functionality around. Not this time. I managed to hold a conversation with him about work and improving things.

I still have my dark moments, times when all I want is to go to sleep and not wake up, but they are not as deep as in the past. Nor am I afraid of living alone for the rest of my life. It's better than being tied with someone who doesn't care about me, or sees me as a slave to their will.

2016 is shaping up to be one of my better years.

See you on Friday.



2 comments:

Riley J. Froud said...

I'm hoping and praying that the fairies story is true! hehe!

Great post - here's to a better 2016!

Janet Gogerty said...

It's brave to speak out. I know nothing about your life of course, but it is time we all acknowledged that it is not only women who are victims and need to get out of relationships. There are plenty of men taken advantage of or dumped because they are too nice. Best wishes for 2016.