Arnold Rimmer was an organised person. In fact, he was so organised he never achieved anything.
Whenever he was about to take the engineering exam he would organise his revision timetable to maximise his effort and ensure he wasted no time on fripperies. First of all, he'd get a piece of paper, then list all the aspects of engineering he needed to revise and when the exam was being held. This took a whole day. His next step was to schedule his revision periods around his work on board the Jupiter Mining Corporation Ship, Red Dwarf and avoid the sarcasm of his bunkmate, Lister.
Once these periods were blacked out in his timetable, he added into the spaces all the subjects he needed to revise, carefully colour-coding each one so it stood out. This was after he'd made the decision which colour each module needed to be.
Should Engine Operations be yellow or marine blue? Is green an appropriate colour for Astrophysics? He wanted to make it dark blue, but then it wouldn't stand out against the black for the times he was at work, or when Lister was out of the room in the bar getting drunk or sleeping on the floor of the bar too drunk to walk.
By the time Rimmer had evaluated all the respective options regarding module colours, made an allowance for rest on the day before the exam was scheduled, and which were the best times to study, he'd lost a week of his revision time and had to redo the chart.
Four weeks would go by, and each week he'd have to rewrite the timetable to take account of the time he'd spent organising the revision timetable. By the time of the exam he was so exhausted from the planning of his revision he hadn't actually revised anything. Still, like all good space corps employees, he went to the exam...and failed each time by passing out on the floor in the first five minutes.
On one occasion he had managed to write something on his paper. In big, black, bold letters he neatly wrote, 'I AM A FISH'.
I wonder, how often do we spend a lot of time planning our books so we can avoid the actual writing? Do we plot, research, write character descriptions, an encyclopedia of the world we're setting the novel in to avoid putting finger to keyboard? Do we convince ourselves that what we're doing is actual writing?
Stop right there. Be an author, not a Rimmer.