Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Writing The Evil Guy...Or Gal

Want a villain in your book? Of course you do. But how do you write one that doesn't make a Bond villain look real? Help is at hand with the 'Evil Overlord List'.

Some examples:

- My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
- Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
- The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the 'Mountain of Despair' beyond the 'River of Fir'e guarded by the 'Dragons of Eternity'. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
- I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

That's not all. Later on in the list are gems such as:

- I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
- I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
- My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard operating systems.
- If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

One of the best hints is very simple. 'My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.'

You can find these and more at the evil overlord list webpage. Have fun.

8 comments:

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Interesting! And very true. I think it's easy to go the TV route and over apply the evil. People are way more complex than that.

This comment is lame, but I have not had coffee yet. Really. My brain does not start till that moment.

Milo James Fowler said...

Holy cow, these are great. Avoid the doofus villain at all costs!

Martin Willoughby said...

Veg: Get some coffee and come back. I'm not going anywhere...(sigh)

Milo: Some of them are hilarious. There are also two lists of comments that didn't make it.

[Naebsy] said...

"If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her."

LMAO. LMFMAO. (don't actually know what those mean but yeah, great post dad! Made me laugh out loud!)

Martin Willoughby said...

Naebsy: If you thought they were funny, go to the website and read the rest.

Caitlin said...

Oh my goodness, I haven't looked at that list in a couple of years! Haha, I'm about to go waste some time re-reading it. Thanks!

E. Arroyo said...

LOL. Great list.

Martin Willoughby said...

Caitlin: It's always worth visiting, especially when you need a good laugh.

EA: Glad you enjoyed it.