Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Another Year, Another Chin

Today I turn 48. Not particularly old, but older than two thirds of the planet's population and my life is not the one I imagined when I was young.

I have three children, which is about right, all of whom I have a great relationship with. I am on stage, albeit in amateur productions rather than blockbuster hollywood movies and prime time TV shows. There's also four published short stories and a book on Amazon to my name, but no billion selling monsters...at least not yet. In short my life isn't how I thought it should be, though the seeds of it are there.

Birthdays are not my favourite days. Partly because I am reminded that time is running out, but also because they remind me of the unfulfilled life I have. This year, however is a little different. For the past twenty years I've looked back over the previous year, as is my habit, and not liked what I see. This year I have reasons to be cheerful.

I'm no longer in a draining relationship, my ex-wife is long gone from my life and I have very little contact with her, and I finally have my own place where I can be me and live my life.

Then there's the artistic side of me which I have developed, not just in writing, but also on stage and in ink/pencil. I may even get back to my guitar and start playing regularly.

The writing in particular is something that I am proud of. In the past year I have had just short of twenty book reviews published as well as another short story, a story of which I am very proud. I've also published a collection of stories on Amazon. More to the point, I have finally discovered the style with which I am happiest: tragic-comedy.

On stage I have taken a lead role in a pantomime and played four characters in one play, in both of which I got to make people laugh.

One of the difficulties with making other people laugh is that there are those who only see you as a comedian and not as a person with their own problems. I am blessed with some good friends with whom I can be serious, but still no one that can share all of life with me.

In short, I am pleased with the direction my life is now taking and with the successes of the past year. The next twelve months will NOT be make or break, but they will see further gains and more improvement.

One of the songs from my younger days that I have never forgotten is 'Its A Long Way Up', by Big Bad Barry Manilow. It's a song that has come into my mind a lot recently, as the lyrics sum up how I feel at the moment.

Enjoy today. I will.

...................................................


Once you find what matters in your life
Keep on pushing through the darkness
Till you see the light
You're gonna find it
You're no longer behind it

Once you learn what you've been doin' wrong
You can make the change
You need to make to carry on
Now and forever
The sooner the better, just remember now . . .

It's a long way up
When you're coming from nowhere
It's a long way up
When you're coming from nowhere
You gotta fight a little harder
You gotta push a little more
You gotta gamble everything you got
To get you through the door
'Cause it's a long way up

You've been down before but that's okay
You can rest assured
That every dog will have his day
And life is a jungle
But you ain't gonna crumble, remember now . . .

It's a long way up
When you're coming from nowhere
It's a long way up
When you're coming from nowhere
You gotta fight a little harder
You gotta push a little more
You gotta gamble everything you got
To get you through the door
'Cause it's a long way up

Don't give up the dream
Hey don't you know it's dark before the dawn
When you think you just can't take it
That's when you'll make it



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5 comments:

Ted Cross said...

It's cliche, but Happy Birthday! I feel much like you do (I am 43 this year) and am happy to let birthdays pass unnoticed now. I feel that I have accomplished much, but have never hit the heights of mastery that I should. Part of it is that I have too many passions to be able to focus on just one. I do want to become a published author very badly, though.

I hope you take time to give yourself a really great day!

Tana Adams said...

Happy B-day!

Martin Willoughby said...

Ted: Thankyou for cliche. I am having a relaxing day...and two birthday cakes.

Tana: Thanks. Will you reveal your age at some point?

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Happy birthday young man, you're nowhere near old, yet! I mean yes, you would've been if I was 21 or something but then 25 is ancient when you're 21, no? I look at it as, every day you're the youngest you're ever going to be. What can I tell you, I'm an optimist. :) When I'm 48 (and it's not THAT far away) I hope I've done something boast worthy like publish a book. :)

Martin Willoughby said...

Thanks Veggie. You always bring a smile to my face.