Sunday, December 27, 2009

Reflections on 2009

In the last month I have moved house, proposed to my partner (and she accepted) and had my best ever christmas. Given the events of the past year this ending is a surprise, but a welcome one.

In May I finally moved out of the family home after 16 years of marriage and 2 further years of living in the same house as my family. I moved in with my mother.

In June, at the end of my tether, I ended up in hospital being assessed by a psychiatrist after a suicide attempt. Throughout the summer I had a running battle with the council over housing, which I have lost, and then in September my eldest, sick of the behaviour of his mother, moved in with me and my mother. I'm currently fighting the government over the child-based benefits they are still paying to my ex-wife.

In Mid-October my best friend conducted a 'scientific experiment' which resulted in a kiss, a cuddle and a new relationship.

Life hasn't been easy since then, and I would never expect life to be a smooth ride, but it has been a lot more pleasant. I certainly see more of a future now than in June when all I could hope for was a painless death.

2010 cannot be worse than 2009. It's a new year, a new decade and a new start. Susan and I will redecorate our home, move the furniture and plan the future. We will merge two families (just like the Brady Bunch) and work together.

For the first time in my life I can honestly proclaim, Roll On the Future.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Strawberry Flame

I sit here, looking at an overcast sky, a strawberry scented candle aflame beside me, and I wonder: Why write?

Because I want to.

I write this blog for my own purposes and if someone else enjoys it, that's a bonus. If someone else is inspired by it, or learns from it, that's even better. When I write my stories, I write them because I want to tell the story.

I would be lying if I said I have no interest in publication, or not earning a living from writing because I do want those things. Occasionally, however, it is worth reminding myself that the reason I started writing is to put into words the stories I have floating around my head.

When something that I have written, be it a short story, a book review or (hopefully) a novel, gets published I'm thankful and happy. They are the bonus times.

Today, though, I am reminding myself that I write because I want to and because I enjoy it.